Ultimate Metal Cruises: A Sinking Business Strategy?

For those who don’t know, Ultimate Metal Cruises is the company responsible for both the 70000 Tons of Metal and the Barge To Hell cruises. The inaugural cruise took place in 2011 and continues to be an annual event. Barge To Hell took place in December of 2012, and appears as if it may have been the first, and the last, of it’s kind.

While the idea of a metal festival onboard on a cruise ship is fantastic, the execution of the event as of late has definitely left room for improvement. Namely, a lack of timely information and a serious lack of band announcements has left many wondering what exactly is occurring within the company. With the 70000 Tons of Metal cruise to set sail at the end of January and just over half of the bands announced at the beginning of January, it leaves customers playing a waiting game of frustration. A serious lack of timely band announcements is nothing new; it happened for both the last 70000 Tons cruise and the Barge to Hell cruise. Barge to Hell was plagued by cancellations, with Hypocrisy’s last minute cancellation coming to mind, being announced after several of the cruisers were already in Miami. One begins to wonder if there is a public relations problem between bands and the company, or if the company takes the same approach to band satisfaction as customer satisfaction. 

As a cruiser on board Barge to Hell, I was expecting more than what was delivered. While more research on my part regarding the accommodations on board the Majesty of the Seas (Royal Caribbean's ship that had been chartered for the cruise) would have been useful, it was still surprising. Especially considering the extraordinary prices. Unless you are in a position to shell out huge amounts of money for a reasonable cabin, be prepared for tiny, dank, dingy accommodations that could use a bit of upgrading. (Perhaps the upgrading has fallen by the wayside, as Royal Caribbean is set to retire the Majesty of the Seas). Dining options are limited and the food was inferior and of a contradictory quality in comparison to everything I had been told from others who have participated in various cruises. While managing to get one good meal from the formal dining room, every other option including other formal dining room meals left much to be desired. The best bet for decent food turned out to be Johnny Rockets, which was an additional charge. Alcohol is certainly not economically priced either, with an automatic gratuity being charged at most service points and a request for additional tips on each bill. When paying borderline outrageous prices for services, I expect the service to come closer to meeting the expectations that one has when paying such prices. While these complaints generally fall into Royal Caribbean’s fault, it would be nice if Ultimate Metal Cruises was interested in forwarding concerns about their charter cruise to Royal Caribbean itself.

Expensive beer? Check. 

It is the general lack of care towards paying customers on the part of Ultimate Metal Cruises that becomes irking. This in itself makes one question whether they should continue to support this company. If large, multi-day metal festivals can announce the vast majority of their line-ups months in advance, why does Ultimate Metal Cruises consistently fail to do the same? When the line-up is announced a reasonable amount ahead of time, choices are left open. Ultimate Metal Cruises makes it feel as though it is a gamble to buy a ticket, and hope for a decent lineup. While line-ups are always subjective and festivals generally offer a few unknown bands with potential to be surprisingly good, completely gambling on a line-up is only good when you have excessive money, can afford time off and have the resources to make last minute (expensive) decisions. To metal heads who potentially spend months planning, working to save money and anticipating, it’s baffling. At least, to some of us. Others seem content with this business strategy, feeling that all of the pieces will fall into place, or that it will simply be a fantastic vacation regardless. 

Responses from Ultimate Metal Cruises are generic and stereotypical when customers make contact, asking about the status of cruises, why more bands have not been announced and the looming possibility that the event could be cancelled entirely. Browsing through online rumors, it seems it could be a possibility. While rumors are rumors, a lack of information and updates does not help to quell speculation. Both the official forum for 70000 Tons of Metal and the respective Facebook pages for 70000 Tons and Barge to Hell have seen their share of disgruntled comments and posts regarding a lack of announcements, poor customer service and general worries about the sustainability of the company in light of the aforementioned shortcomings. A quick scan of comments reveals people voicing that it’s a waste of money, and if they had not booked flights already, they would cancel. 

Pool deck stage on Barge to Hell. My own photo. 

While several people have been expressing their concerns, there are always the contingent of people who have been on the previous cruises, trying to assure those who are discontent not to worry. Whether this stems from an optimistic outlook, denial, or something else entirely, it serves to divide the cruise ‘family’ from other potential cruisers either before or during the cruise. With the root of this problem growing from a lack of informative and timely communication by Ultimate Metal Cruises, it seems as though it would have been a reasonably easy issue to prevent, or a relatively easy one to solve. The skipper, and ‘organizer’ at Ultimate Metal Cruises, Andy, could serve to lose some of the arrogant, conceited attitude that he has not bothered even attempting to hide. When the head of your company manages to create this public persona for themselves, I suppose it shouldn’t be surprising that dissatisfaction is the result. The amount of dissatisfaction being publicly expressed should serve as a wake-up call. In simple terms, it should serve as a warning to “get your shit together”. 

Personally, I dislike the direction that Ultimate Metal Cruises has chosen to take. The idea is great, and I would love for it be executed in a manner that shows concern and respect for paying devotees. Unlike some of the loyal patrons, I feel that I cannot again support a company with such a lackadaisical attitude until they prove that they deserve patronage. Multiple reviews are available showcasing the exceptional experiences to be had upon 70000 Tons of Metal, but unless one begins to dig further, it is rather difficult to find honest criticism, which should be taken equally into consideration when undertaking such an endeavor, both as a potential customer and as a company. 

Top 5 Albums of 2013

Being that I was unable to write reviews to do justice to each new album I got my hands on in 2013, I thought I'd pick my five favorites of the year. I am hoping to still do the reviews,  but they are currently a work in progress and I just ran out of time.

Picking five was somewhat difficult. Both Finntroll and Kataklysm released albums that could have easily made this list. The reason they didn't? Because I was expecting excellence and familiarity out of both of those bands, and they delivered. I picked albums that came as a bit of a pleasant surprise, and that unexpectedly blew me away. I did manage to listen to several other very solid albums, and some of them were so early into 2013 that I feel like I'd have to put in some serious listening and comparison effort in regards to making a list like this. There were also a few albums that I got ahold of so late in the year that I have not had the time to properly absorb them, and they may very well have been strong contenders for this list. There were also a few that had one or two things I didn't like, which took them out of contention for such a short list. That being said, this is what I have come up with off the top of my head in terms of memorable albums.

My top five albums of 2013, in no particular order:

Månegarm - Legions Of The North

Kalmah - Seventh Swamphony

Entrails - Raging Death

Amon Amarth - Deceiver Of The Gods

Death Angel - The Dream Calls For Blood

Wolfchant - Embraced By Fire Review

Track Listing:

1. Devouring Flames
2. Embraced By Fire
3. Element
4. Turning Into Red
5. Einsame Wacht
6. Autumns Breath
7. Freier Geist
8. Winters Triumph

Like previous Wolfchant albums, Embraced By Fire creates an epic atmosphere of galloping beats. The title track is a valiant, undaunted effort, guiding the listener further into the album, employing a mix of both harsh and clean vocals. ‘Element’, ‘Einsame Wacht’ and ‘Freier Geist’ are all sung in German, with the perceived harshness of the German language to a non-German speaker still seeming to fit with the music itself. 

‘Turning Into Red’ has a very folk sounding introduction, although it could do without the same lines being repeated in both clean and harsh vocals in some verses. Other verses in the same song actually work well with clean vocals, momentarily working to slow the tempo. Occasionally throughout the album, one can catch snippets of symphonic influence. ‘Autumns Breath’ emerges as the standout track, perhaps because of an incredibly catchy and shout-able chorus that sticks with listener for days. ‘Winters Triumph’ closes on a simpler note, in which the song structure feels more natural. Overall, while Embraced By Fire isn’t a bad album, Wolfchant has released stronger efforts in the past. 

Månegarm - Legions Of The North Review

Track Listing:

1. Arise
2. Legions Of The North
3. Eternity Awaits
4. Helvegr
5. Hordes of Hel
6. Tor Hjälpe
7. Wake The Gods
8. Vigverk
9. Sons Of War
10. Echoes From The Past
11. Fallen
12. Forged In Fire
13. Raadh

Released in early July, Legions Of The North is Månegarm’s eighth studio album. Much less known than some of their contemporaries in the viking/pagan metal genre, Månegarm have proven themselves as innovators. In a departure from previous albums, the majority of the tracks on Legions Of The North are comprised of lyrics in English, which, in this case, actually works brilliantly. (‘Raadh’ is the only song sung in Swedish, with both male and female vocals).

The album opens with the instrumental ‘Arise’, leading into the much heavier title track. Folk-influences are obvious, mixed perfectly with the heavy stylings that one expects from the viking/pagan metal genre. Catchy melodies abound on this album, allowing for plenty of head-banging and creating the urge to shout along. Lyrical themes are aptly previewed by the album title itself, generally consisting of anthems of vengeance, battle, death and solidarity. ‘Wake The Gods’ is frantically fast, calling for a return to the pagan past, and a battle cry to bring back the wisdom of yesteryear. Legions Of The North is broken by the instrumental tracks ‘Helvegr’ and ‘Vigverk’, although broken may not be an appropriate descriptor, as the instrumental songs fit seamlessly into the album as a whole. The relatively clean vocals on ‘Sons Of War’ add to the song, making it a powerful anthem. The addition of the female vocals on ‘Echoes From The Past’ creates a sentiment that could not have been expressed as perfectly if they were left out, again demonstrating that this band has a vision and has mastered its execution. 

Reminiscent of fellow Swedish artists Amon Amarth and Unleashed, Månegarm adds a signature flavor to their music that is difficult to pinpoint, but is definitely noticeable. Legions Of The North is undeniably a vigorous, heavy hitting album, made more accessible due to the mostly english lyrics. It’s well worth a listen. 

Månegarm has also very recently released the video for 'Sons Of War':

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfOBpMpYAxc

Metal By Country

Out of curiosity, I decided to do a quick analysis of which countries the metal artists contained on my computer come from. I only included artists that are, for the most part, definitively considered to be metal. I did not take into account owning (or at least having in the house) multiple albums from artists, as there are several on the list in which I have more than one album.

After looking at the number of artists by country, I decided to take a look at the number of albums by country that I have. The distribution is relatively the same, with the exception of the United States.

Shared List of The 10 Best Folk Metal Bands

http://blogs.ocweekly.com/heardmentality/2013/12/the_10_best_folk_metal_bands.php

It seems that this particular blog entry has been shared quite a bit recently, so I thought I’d take a look for myself. While everyone is going to have some level of disagreement over ‘best of’ lists, this one leaves me a little puzzled. Like every other writer, and music lover, I tend to have opinions that do not necessarily agree with the opinions of others. 

There are a few bands appearing on this list that I would not put into the category of folk metal. Ulver seems to be a weird choice, especially when the author notes that they’ve created a hybrid that includes almost every sub-genre but folk metal. Just because you have cellos or ambient drums does not make you a folk metal band. Agalloch is another that I wouldn’t classify as being an example of folk metal. Sure, they incorporate several different subgenres, and much like Ulver, have sampled many different influences. Are they folk metal? I wouldn’t say so. Blackguard really does not strike me as folk metal either. I’ve seen Blackguard live numerous times with bands that are both folk metal, and bands that are more death or thrash influenced. While they fit somewhere in the middle, I would not use them as an example of folk metal.

With a ‘ten best’ list, you have to quite selective. The title suggested that I would find examples of folk metal upon reading the list. While there are some legitimate examples of what one tends to consider folk metal, there are a few that make me question the choices on the list. There are so many other bands that are much more distinctly folk metal than Agalloch, Ulver and Blackguard that including them to exemplify the sub-genre seems misguided. The other bands on the list are what most would likely consider folk metal, albeit being some of the most popular, well known bands of the genre. 

I always like reading ‘best-of’ lists and contemplating why I either agree or disagree with the choices. Maybe I should just write my own list of 10 Best Folk Metal Bands. 

(Insert Number) Best Albums of the Year

Just a quick thought...

When I see these lists of the best albums of the year, I often wonder how you can have enough time to sit and actually absorb the material on each album. I would assume that whomever is composing these does not pay for each and every album, because when I see lists of the '100 Best Metal Albums of the Year', I begin to wonder how this is even possible.

I know I certainly couldn't find the time to listen to and review that many albums without shirking every other responsibility I might have! Nor could I find anywhere near the level of spare cash required to buy that many albums in a year...

The difference between a hobby and a career? Probably.