For those who don’t know, Ultimate Metal Cruises is the company responsible for both the 70000 Tons of Metal and the Barge To Hell cruises. The inaugural cruise took place in 2011 and continues to be an annual event. Barge To Hell took place in December of 2012, and appears as if it may have been the first, and the last, of it’s kind.
While the idea of a metal festival onboard on a cruise ship is fantastic, the execution of the event as of late has definitely left room for improvement. Namely, a lack of timely information and a serious lack of band announcements has left many wondering what exactly is occurring within the company. With the 70000 Tons of Metal cruise to set sail at the end of January and just over half of the bands announced at the beginning of January, it leaves customers playing a waiting game of frustration. A serious lack of timely band announcements is nothing new; it happened for both the last 70000 Tons cruise and the Barge to Hell cruise. Barge to Hell was plagued by cancellations, with Hypocrisy’s last minute cancellation coming to mind, being announced after several of the cruisers were already in Miami. One begins to wonder if there is a public relations problem between bands and the company, or if the company takes the same approach to band satisfaction as customer satisfaction.
As a cruiser on board Barge to Hell, I was expecting more than what was delivered. While more research on my part regarding the accommodations on board the Majesty of the Seas (Royal Caribbean's ship that had been chartered for the cruise) would have been useful, it was still surprising. Especially considering the extraordinary prices. Unless you are in a position to shell out huge amounts of money for a reasonable cabin, be prepared for tiny, dank, dingy accommodations that could use a bit of upgrading. (Perhaps the upgrading has fallen by the wayside, as Royal Caribbean is set to retire the Majesty of the Seas). Dining options are limited and the food was inferior and of a contradictory quality in comparison to everything I had been told from others who have participated in various cruises. While managing to get one good meal from the formal dining room, every other option including other formal dining room meals left much to be desired. The best bet for decent food turned out to be Johnny Rockets, which was an additional charge. Alcohol is certainly not economically priced either, with an automatic gratuity being charged at most service points and a request for additional tips on each bill. When paying borderline outrageous prices for services, I expect the service to come closer to meeting the expectations that one has when paying such prices. While these complaints generally fall into Royal Caribbean’s fault, it would be nice if Ultimate Metal Cruises was interested in forwarding concerns about their charter cruise to Royal Caribbean itself.
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| Expensive beer? Check. |
It is the general lack of care towards paying customers on the part of Ultimate Metal Cruises that becomes irking. This in itself makes one question whether they should continue to support this company. If large, multi-day metal festivals can announce the vast majority of their line-ups months in advance, why does Ultimate Metal Cruises consistently fail to do the same? When the line-up is announced a reasonable amount ahead of time, choices are left open. Ultimate Metal Cruises makes it feel as though it is a gamble to buy a ticket, and hope for a decent lineup. While line-ups are always subjective and festivals generally offer a few unknown bands with potential to be surprisingly good, completely gambling on a line-up is only good when you have excessive money, can afford time off and have the resources to make last minute (expensive) decisions. To metal heads who potentially spend months planning, working to save money and anticipating, it’s baffling. At least, to some of us. Others seem content with this business strategy, feeling that all of the pieces will fall into place, or that it will simply be a fantastic vacation regardless.
Responses from Ultimate Metal Cruises are generic and stereotypical when customers make contact, asking about the status of cruises, why more bands have not been announced and the looming possibility that the event could be cancelled entirely. Browsing through online rumors, it seems it could be a possibility. While rumors are rumors, a lack of information and updates does not help to quell speculation. Both the official forum for 70000 Tons of Metal and the respective Facebook pages for 70000 Tons and Barge to Hell have seen their share of disgruntled comments and posts regarding a lack of announcements, poor customer service and general worries about the sustainability of the company in light of the aforementioned shortcomings. A quick scan of comments reveals people voicing that it’s a waste of money, and if they had not booked flights already, they would cancel.
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| Pool deck stage on Barge to Hell. My own photo. |
While several people have been expressing their concerns, there are always the contingent of people who have been on the previous cruises, trying to assure those who are discontent not to worry. Whether this stems from an optimistic outlook, denial, or something else entirely, it serves to divide the cruise ‘family’ from other potential cruisers either before or during the cruise. With the root of this problem growing from a lack of informative and timely communication by Ultimate Metal Cruises, it seems as though it would have been a reasonably easy issue to prevent, or a relatively easy one to solve. The skipper, and ‘organizer’ at Ultimate Metal Cruises, Andy, could serve to lose some of the arrogant, conceited attitude that he has not bothered even attempting to hide. When the head of your company manages to create this public persona for themselves, I suppose it shouldn’t be surprising that dissatisfaction is the result. The amount of dissatisfaction being publicly expressed should serve as a wake-up call. In simple terms, it should serve as a warning to “get your shit together”.
Personally, I dislike the direction that Ultimate Metal Cruises has chosen to take. The idea is great, and I would love for it be executed in a manner that shows concern and respect for paying devotees. Unlike some of the loyal patrons, I feel that I cannot again support a company with such a lackadaisical attitude until they prove that they deserve patronage. Multiple reviews are available showcasing the exceptional experiences to be had upon 70000 Tons of Metal, but unless one begins to dig further, it is rather difficult to find honest criticism, which should be taken equally into consideration when undertaking such an endeavor, both as a potential customer and as a company.
