'Metal Tourists' Part II - Metal Cruises

     What happens in regard to ‘metal tourists’ and the unique situation of cruises such as 70000 Tons of Metal and Barge To Hell, as well as any of the smaller ones in existence? While I can’t speak for some of the smaller cruises, Ultimate Metal Cruises (the company behind 70000 Tons and Barge to Hell) advertises their cruises as an opportunity to get up close to, and hang out with, the musicians on board the ship. Obviously, beyond the holiday itself, this a major selling point. Many of the cruisers relish in the opportunity to chat with, share a few drinks with, take pictures with, and hang out with their favorite musicians. 

At what point on these cruises does the line between affording musicians personal space and socializing with musicians get crossed? I think there are a few obvious scenarios, such as when is returning to their cabin, leaving their cabin, enjoying a meal or using the washrooms in the public areas where space and respect for privacy should be afforded. (The washroom is definitely a weird and creepy scenario, but I wouldn’t doubt it has happened). 

Due to the nature of the event, should musicians on board expect to be left alone? While it is doubtful that there are any contractual obligations stating that participating musicians must spend time with fans aside from scheduled meet and greets/autograph sessions, it doesn’t seem unreasonable to expect some form of cordial interaction in the cruise scenario while in public areas of the ship. Many of the musicians on the 70000 Tons of Metal cruises seem more than happy to oblige anyways. (Barge to Hell, not so much). 

It seems that the majority of musicians on board actually seem to enjoy the opportunity to interact with fans and fellow metal heads on a casual basis, in a twenty-four hour party atmosphere. After all, I don’t think there are any secrets going into the cruise that this is partially what the experience is all about. It doesn’t seem uncommon for many of the musicians to sit in the bar with, sing metal karaoke with, watch other bands sets with, or take a dip in the pool with other cruisers. 

Some musicians enjoy the atmosphere. 

Whether these musicians feel obligated to participate to such an extent beyond playing their sets, or whether they do so because they enjoy the atmosphere and opportunity to mingle with new people is a question that each individual would have to answer. I would suspect the latter in the majority of the cases. After all, on Barge to Hell (the first, and maybe only, installment of that particular cruise), it was quite rare to spot any of the musicians outside of their scheduled performances, save for a few. The option is always there to stay mainly out of the spotlight. 

Considering that many of these musicians are willing to put themselves into this situation, and are willing to return year after year in some cases, they know what the cruise is all about. A certain level of respect from fans should still be afforded to participating musicians. After all, most of the cruisers tend to debark the ship exhausted from several days of constant partying. Dealing with people constantly vying for your attention for the same time period on top of working and partying must be even more exhausting. (I suppose some people find this incredibly energizing, but there are limits). 

From experience on Barge to Hell, some fans are overzealous in their pursuit of time spent with musicians. These are the annoying type of ‘metal tourists’, basically stalking band members. Perhaps it was a bit of a cultural difference in regards to the concept of personal space and privacy, as many of these fans were from a particular grouping of countries, but they certainly elucidated the point that Finntroll frontman Vreth was making when speaking about ‘metal tourists’, and from these posts stemmed from.

It is about using a sense of judgement in the cruise situation. It is unique in the sense that no one is on their home turf. Musicians aren’t exactly doing ‘normal’ things in their hometowns. It is a bit like a working holiday for the participating bands. It should be relatively obvious what is appropriate and what is not when taken in a situational context. What do you think?

Ultimate Metal Cruises: A Sinking Business Strategy?

For those who don’t know, Ultimate Metal Cruises is the company responsible for both the 70000 Tons of Metal and the Barge To Hell cruises. The inaugural cruise took place in 2011 and continues to be an annual event. Barge To Hell took place in December of 2012, and appears as if it may have been the first, and the last, of it’s kind.

While the idea of a metal festival onboard on a cruise ship is fantastic, the execution of the event as of late has definitely left room for improvement. Namely, a lack of timely information and a serious lack of band announcements has left many wondering what exactly is occurring within the company. With the 70000 Tons of Metal cruise to set sail at the end of January and just over half of the bands announced at the beginning of January, it leaves customers playing a waiting game of frustration. A serious lack of timely band announcements is nothing new; it happened for both the last 70000 Tons cruise and the Barge to Hell cruise. Barge to Hell was plagued by cancellations, with Hypocrisy’s last minute cancellation coming to mind, being announced after several of the cruisers were already in Miami. One begins to wonder if there is a public relations problem between bands and the company, or if the company takes the same approach to band satisfaction as customer satisfaction. 

As a cruiser on board Barge to Hell, I was expecting more than what was delivered. While more research on my part regarding the accommodations on board the Majesty of the Seas (Royal Caribbean's ship that had been chartered for the cruise) would have been useful, it was still surprising. Especially considering the extraordinary prices. Unless you are in a position to shell out huge amounts of money for a reasonable cabin, be prepared for tiny, dank, dingy accommodations that could use a bit of upgrading. (Perhaps the upgrading has fallen by the wayside, as Royal Caribbean is set to retire the Majesty of the Seas). Dining options are limited and the food was inferior and of a contradictory quality in comparison to everything I had been told from others who have participated in various cruises. While managing to get one good meal from the formal dining room, every other option including other formal dining room meals left much to be desired. The best bet for decent food turned out to be Johnny Rockets, which was an additional charge. Alcohol is certainly not economically priced either, with an automatic gratuity being charged at most service points and a request for additional tips on each bill. When paying borderline outrageous prices for services, I expect the service to come closer to meeting the expectations that one has when paying such prices. While these complaints generally fall into Royal Caribbean’s fault, it would be nice if Ultimate Metal Cruises was interested in forwarding concerns about their charter cruise to Royal Caribbean itself.

Expensive beer? Check. 

It is the general lack of care towards paying customers on the part of Ultimate Metal Cruises that becomes irking. This in itself makes one question whether they should continue to support this company. If large, multi-day metal festivals can announce the vast majority of their line-ups months in advance, why does Ultimate Metal Cruises consistently fail to do the same? When the line-up is announced a reasonable amount ahead of time, choices are left open. Ultimate Metal Cruises makes it feel as though it is a gamble to buy a ticket, and hope for a decent lineup. While line-ups are always subjective and festivals generally offer a few unknown bands with potential to be surprisingly good, completely gambling on a line-up is only good when you have excessive money, can afford time off and have the resources to make last minute (expensive) decisions. To metal heads who potentially spend months planning, working to save money and anticipating, it’s baffling. At least, to some of us. Others seem content with this business strategy, feeling that all of the pieces will fall into place, or that it will simply be a fantastic vacation regardless. 

Responses from Ultimate Metal Cruises are generic and stereotypical when customers make contact, asking about the status of cruises, why more bands have not been announced and the looming possibility that the event could be cancelled entirely. Browsing through online rumors, it seems it could be a possibility. While rumors are rumors, a lack of information and updates does not help to quell speculation. Both the official forum for 70000 Tons of Metal and the respective Facebook pages for 70000 Tons and Barge to Hell have seen their share of disgruntled comments and posts regarding a lack of announcements, poor customer service and general worries about the sustainability of the company in light of the aforementioned shortcomings. A quick scan of comments reveals people voicing that it’s a waste of money, and if they had not booked flights already, they would cancel. 

Pool deck stage on Barge to Hell. My own photo. 

While several people have been expressing their concerns, there are always the contingent of people who have been on the previous cruises, trying to assure those who are discontent not to worry. Whether this stems from an optimistic outlook, denial, or something else entirely, it serves to divide the cruise ‘family’ from other potential cruisers either before or during the cruise. With the root of this problem growing from a lack of informative and timely communication by Ultimate Metal Cruises, it seems as though it would have been a reasonably easy issue to prevent, or a relatively easy one to solve. The skipper, and ‘organizer’ at Ultimate Metal Cruises, Andy, could serve to lose some of the arrogant, conceited attitude that he has not bothered even attempting to hide. When the head of your company manages to create this public persona for themselves, I suppose it shouldn’t be surprising that dissatisfaction is the result. The amount of dissatisfaction being publicly expressed should serve as a wake-up call. In simple terms, it should serve as a warning to “get your shit together”. 

Personally, I dislike the direction that Ultimate Metal Cruises has chosen to take. The idea is great, and I would love for it be executed in a manner that shows concern and respect for paying devotees. Unlike some of the loyal patrons, I feel that I cannot again support a company with such a lackadaisical attitude until they prove that they deserve patronage. Multiple reviews are available showcasing the exceptional experiences to be had upon 70000 Tons of Metal, but unless one begins to dig further, it is rather difficult to find honest criticism, which should be taken equally into consideration when undertaking such an endeavor, both as a potential customer and as a company. 

Five Festival Picks

With summer well upon us, it brings to mind the plethora of metal festivals that are offered every year. From small events to enormous gatherings, there are several to choose from. Europeans seem to be the winners in this game as there are an endless variety of festivals and the travel distances are shorter. While it’s unlikely that I will be able to personally attend any of these festivals any time soon, here are my top five picks for metal festivals to attend based on personal line-up choices and travel destinations:

1. METALDAYS

Location: Tolmin, Slovenia

Mid-July

Formerly going by the title of METALCAMP, the line-up for this festival has proved to be stellar for the last several years. Not to mention the location. Judging by photos, the festival grounds must be some of the most picturesque that one can imagine. The grounds themselves boast two beaches and lie between the Tolminka and Soca rivers. Camping is also free with a valid festival pass, with an additional minimal fee if you’d like to arrive a few days early. METALCAMP always has plenty of bands that I want to see and tends to have the best line-up (for me personally), especially as the festival continues to grow.

2. Tuska Open Air Metal Festival

Location: Helsinki, Finland

End of June / Beginning of July

Having missed this particular gem by a single day on both instances when I traveled to Finland, it is still high on my list of festivals to attend. Tuska generally manages to draw a few big-name acts and several equally good, lesser-knowns. Until 2011, Tuska was located in central Helsinki, in Kaisaniemi park. This location was fantastic due to the close proximity to excellent accommodation options, restaurants, and everything else that one could possibly want to do while in Helsinki. I feel as though I missed a great opportunity by missing out on Tuska while it was staged in Kaisaniemi. 

3. Summer Breeze

Location: Dinkelsbühl, Germany

Mid-August

Summer Breeze is another of those festivals that always seems to have a fantastic line-up. The festival takes place on an airfield, and at under a hundred euros for a full festival pass, including camping and shuttle buses, the cost of the festival itself is not going to break the bank. 

4. Wacken Open Air

Location: Wacken, Germany

Beginning of August

Wacken Open Air is the festival that is on every metal-head’s must-go-to-once list. Arguably the most recognized metal festival, bands from every area of metal can be found playing Wacken. Wacken has managed to sell out and set attendance records several times in it’s history, with visitors totaling often totaling over 80,000. This festival creates a small city around itself, complete with merchandise markets and anything else a metal head could ask for. 

5. Brutal Assault Festival

Location: Fortress Josefov, Czech Republic

Mid-August

Brutal Assault caters to the more extreme side of metal. The festival actually takes place inside an old army fortress, offering undoubtably one of the most unique festival experiences. With pre-cautions about the inherent dangers of being set up inside a fortress and the option for guarded campsites, one may wonder about the safety of attending Brutal Assault. Either way, if proper measures are taken beforehand, it seems to be an experience that would be worth undertaking. 

Honorable mention:

70 000 Tons of Metal

While this isn’t quite your typical festival, as it’s offered on a cruise ship, this is another that I’d like to give a try. Happening in January and sailing from Miami, it offers four days of music, including one stop in a port. Having participated in the inaugural (and potentially final) Barge to Hell Cruise, I would like to give 70 000 Tons a try. With a new cruise ship promised to replace the tired one currently used, and an increased capacity, it promises to be a better experience than Barge to Hell. 70 000 Tons always sells well (opposite to what Barge did), and everyone seems to have an excellent time. Hopefully with a new ship will come vastly improved dining and improvements to make the expensive price tag carry more value for the money.

Enslaved with Pallbearer, Royal Thunder and Ancient VVisdom Review

The Pawnshop

February 14th, 2013

Ears still ringing, despite wearing earplugs, it’s time to lay down a review of last night’s show at The Pawnshop. Never having listened to any of the opening bands, they proved to be an interesting and somewhat unexpected mix. 

Ancient VVisdom was quite enjoyable, providing a dark, pounding, acoustic flair for the evening. Their primal sound was aided by a frontman who was reminiscent, at times, of Jim Morrison. While there were not too many people in the venue at this point, it seems as though this band made a few new fans. 

Royal Thunder were definitely something different to my ear. Their own small fan base turned up, seeming slightly out of place in the crowd with those who were obviously there for Enslaved. With a vocalist who reminded me a little of Janis Joplin, Royal Thunder was fairly well received by the now more crowded venue. 

Pallbearer were also well received by the crowd, making it obvious that there were more than a few doom fans looking to get their fix in attendance. The slow, sludgy, characteristic sound of doom metal provided some contrast for what was to come next. 

The venue was packed and there was a definite feeling of anticipation in the air when Enslaved took the stage, greeted by cheers from the gathered crowd. They opened with the title track from their latest release, RIITIIR, setting the tone for a night of mostly newer material. The amount of energy Enslaved brought could barely be contained to the stage and frontman Grutle Kjellson provided plenty of interaction with fans in the front rows. The moshing and headbanging continued in earnest as the set progressed with ‘Roots of the Mountain’ emerging as one of the favorites of the night. The slower parts of some of the songs provided a showcase for the musicianship found between the members of this progressive black metal band and a small respite in the frantic energy from the crowd. After a drum solo, the encore concluded the show with ‘Fenris’ and ‘Isa’.Strangely enough, many people seemed to disperse before the encore and missed two great songs. Most of the band members, especially guitarist Ivar Bjørnson, took time to shake hands and thank members of the audience, although it was the audience who owed thanks for a fantastic show. After two hours of high octane metal, the vast majority of the crowd trickled out into the night completely satisfied. 

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As a personal side note:

After witnessing Enslaved on Barge to Hell in December, I was unsure that the experience could translate so well into a much smaller venue. I mean, watching them live on the pool deck, playing a set of mostly older material with a thunderstorm lighting up the night sky in the background? It doesn’t get much more epic than that. Also, I found it a bit interesting that they opened with ‘Isa’ on Barge, and concluded the other night with it. That being said, I was impressed and found that I really enjoyed the small-venue, well executed set.